It's nice to be back.
I took a little bloggy break just after Christmas.
It was so needed. I was exhausted in every sense of the world.
We were living in a crazy state of unknown. Hopping all over the
countryside, living in peoples back pockets.
I could barely keep my head in the game let alone pour out my life on these pages.
But I missed it. I missed it almost as soon as I stopped.
Because even though I'd moulded this little place in
the internets into a bit of a competition with myself.
Even if I told myself it wasn't good enough and not
like the other blogs.
Even though I felt down because I didn't think anyone
was reading it (except my mum. hi mum!), that's
not why I started a blog in the first place.
I started this little page to document my life.
Almost four years ago my life got bigger than it ever
had been before. My little one started growing inside
of me and it was the most exciting and frightening thing
that had ever happened to me.
I wanted to write it all down.
To keep the memories of how I was feeling and what I
was doing so that one day I could look back on these
exciting and frightening days and smile and thank God
for all the many days I have seen.
And that's what it was for a time. But then I found influence
from elsewhere. Other blogs, product reviews.
I saw what the blog could be and got caught up in some ideal.
I lost sight of the reason I had started.
It got to a point where I could no longer read other blogs
without comparing myself to them and feeling pretty rubbish.
And so, I gave it all away.
But how I missed documenting those days.
The photos and the stories. I've written a million blog posts
in my head these past months. I've got the photos and the
memories but there's something special about recording them
here in this little corner of the world.
Our world has expanded and expanded.
There is so much to share and think upon. I'm learning new things
about God and being a woman and wife, about mothering, about
sucking the marrow out of life!
And I'd like to share it with you.
I'd like to write it all down so I can look back and remember these days.
Not long ago I discovered a nasty little piece of work website
that takes great pride in cutting people who share their little lives
in this way. It made me do a whole lot of thinking but if there is
any good to come out of reading and witnessing the behaviour
that goes down in such a place it's this;
Not everyone will like you. And that's ok.
They might even say nasty things about you but that says more
about what they like then what you are.
If I run around wanting this blog to look like x, y or z I'm just going
to wear myself out. It needs to look like me and if that just 'aint
popular then that's ok too.
It really is.
And you know as nasty as that website seems, the more I read it
(it's like a car accident I can't look away) the more I realise
that that's mostly what they're on about.
It's not a good read to hear about some lame product or how
awesome sauce your life is. It's good to read about real stuff,
real feelings, real cock ups.
I think that's where I started but got lost along the way.
It was so nice to see folk come out of the woodwork and say
that they do like reading what I write.
I was genuinely floored by all the lovely things so I'd love to
encourage you to keep saying them if you think them.
(Even say the bad stuff. Ill grow a thicker skin and hopefully
become a better writer.) Even though I'm going to try really hard
to not be swayed by public opinion it's still nice to hear friendly things.
Here's the new space. A new name, a new look, a new era.
Going back to the original vibe feels much better.
You might as well write what you know eh?
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